What i Needed to Say

To My Family

From random pokes,

to random thoughts,

jumpy reactions and

deep thoughts,

we have come closer.

From silly ideas,

to the real thinkers,

missing attendance

to skipping across the room for a sticker

that meant more than any could know.

From rabies,

to 363 posts

and more fun stories,

to music and James

and those lyrics that leave a lasting impression.

So much depends,

ain’t that a cliché?

But when you actually stop for a moment,

wait for all the sounds to fall away

and disappear into the depths of your mind,

think for a second.

The truth isn’t buried too deep.

So much actually does depend

on those chance encounters,

random events that you least expect,

the people you meet,

and places you go.

How much have we grown since the first day?

How many more names have you learned?

How many people have you come to know?

How many times have you improved your writing?

How much will you take from this class?

We have grown together,

enough to make it noticeable.

We live our own lives,

yet,

how much have we affected another?

Maybe some will forget by month’s end,

and not look back,

but maybe more will remember

all the moments,

all the laughs,

and all the stories shared.

They will look back with a smile,

with sadness or a happy heart,

at the family left behind.

my poem

The Fading Light

People tell me that it is an honor to work for God,

that to do so brings you into His light,

and what a beautiful thing it is!

My mother has become a servant of God,

and we celebrate the divine honor blessed on her.

Her mother, her sister, her husband and her two sons,

all with her on this wonderful day,

one filled with games,

happy conversations,

and the love of a close family.

With the day finally ending,

my grandmother and aunt leaving for home,

we are retiring for the night.

Waking up the next morning,

looking outside my window,

I see the beautiful sunlight smiling down on the world.

I see the trees green with leaves shining with light.

I see the birds flying around and singing happily.

It put a smile on my face

and went to the kitchen to join my family for breakfast.

But there was something different going on.

Something was wrong with this situation,

my mother was gone,

my dad wasn’t reading the paper,

and a word being said.

I looked to my father for answers,

but as my eyes looked upon his features

a grim silence followed that lingered,

and my thoughts drifted from place to place,

trying to find an answer.

A daughter,

a sister,

and my aunt

leave the world behind…

* * *

Its hard to describe the emotions that one feels

at the loss of a close family member.

Pain?

that isn’t even close.

Sadness?

that word isn’t strong enough.

Sorrow?

I can’t even begin to explain how deep the scars are.

People tell me it is an honor to be a pallbearer,

to be able to carry a close loved one to their final resting place.

What kind of sick joke is this?

Is it supposed to be an honor to suffer?

I can’t begin to describe the pain that one experiences in this situation.

So many emotions…

So many memories…

People tell me God is all-powerful and forgiving,

that it is an honor to work for Him.

But I can’t help but wonder

why a god that is so forgiving and loving

would take my aunt away

and leave us without answers?

It leaves me to wonder about the truths of life.

Is there a heaven waiting for me on the other side?

Or is life just simply made of life and death?

As the sun paints the sky brilliant shades of red and orange,

the blue becoming heavier and heavier,

the wind in the trees dies down,

and the life of the day goes to sleep.

This is where I find myself,

gazing at the star-filled sky,

wondering,

waiting,

watching,

and the same question enters my mind:

Why?